My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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