i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
