you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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