is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
