I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
