I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
