if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
