Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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