So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
