Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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