Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
