dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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