He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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