i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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