A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
