So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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