Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
