What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
