She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
one might say we're banned from that church
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
