and you said cock pushups were impossible
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
