fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
