she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
