I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
