using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
