I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
