Cold hands, warm shart.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
