And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
