Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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