Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
