mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Your dad touched me again.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
