You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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