I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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