every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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