My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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