She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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