thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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