I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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