2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
