he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
