i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
