I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just gargled with NyQuil
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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