sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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