I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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