she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
