Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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