He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
