she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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