Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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