Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i out mim tonsoeep
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