I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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