She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You took a bar mat shot.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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