so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
