and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
